March 19th, 2008...9 Days

In 9 days it will be Lucas' 8th Angelversary in Heaven...Please pray for our family at this time.

http://www.myspace.com/angellucas_forever6months

Attention Seeker? I need your help...

Jennifer is her name...Well I don't know if that's here real name. She does graphic design like me. That's how we started talking.

So then I added her to MSN so we could talk more..she seems really cool.

I am talking to her as I write this...

Last week she told me she might have breast Cancer so I told her to go get checked out and stuff...Still she has not.

Then yesterday she told me that she might have Leukemia. I told her why she thought so, she said because I reposted a bulletine about signs for Cancer since Nayt has it and I was on his site. She told me she had almost all those symptoms. I was 99.9% sure she does NOT have it. Anyways I told her to go get checked out and she said she had an appointment tomorrow(today) to do it.

Well she signed on not 20min ago and told me that her school almost went into lock down. A guy said he had a gun in his Locker. One why would he tell the teacher's that? And if he did the school WOULD go into lockdown. Anyways she said that the police arrested him and but he got away and now the police are looking for him. Her mom rushed her to her aunts house like 100 miles away she said. She said that she was on the "hit list" that the guy wrote...she was on the top.

I asked about the breast cancer and Leukemia she said she did not go to the doctor's yet, that since what happend to day(if it did happen) they resheduled the appointement.

Let me get this clear...If I thought I might have any type of Cancer...I would not wait til tomorrow..I would go NOW...

I have told other's about this and they said she is an attention seeker.

What do you think?

I need help on this one. I don't know what to do. I really don't want to hear about her claming she has Cancer or was gonna die. I am really getting tired of it.

I wonder what she's gonna say next?

What I want...

I WANT TO START OUT NEW...

I want to drop out of the course i'm in because I can't stand it and move into Early Childhood education...



I want to work so full time for a year so I can get money to do different things...



I want to be a Mommy someday...



I want to start "The Lucas Ryan Foundation."...



I want to help kids with Cancer and their families...


I want to move away...


This is what I want in life right now...

WHY?

I want to change courses because I can't stand doing something I hate. The only reason I went into this course is becuase a Guidance collselor told me to. Did I metion I HATE IT. I wish I could just drop out right NOW...

I want to get out of college one year and just work for money. Then go back. I really don't hink college is for especially the classes i'm in right now. They have NOTHING to do with what I want to be.

I want to be a Mommy so bad. Ever since I was little I always new I would be one. BUt I would like to get things set before having one so someday.

My cousin passed away from Cancer at 6 months of age and I would LOVE to start a foundation in his memory to help other kids/families who have Cancer or are dealing with it.

I want to move right now...Not that I don't like it here I really do espcially the kids :) They are what keep me going here, but I want OUT. I just need to get away and move...To London hopefully.

THIS IS WHAT I WANT IN LIFE RIGHT NOW AND WHY!!!!!!!!!

I sometimes wish I could just drop everything and start new...Ya right like I would ever have the courage to do that...