NEW SITE :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU ANISSA for helping me with my new site. You are the best lol :)

It is almost done and looks AWSOME...you are going to love this site I promise. I have so many good things going with this site...

this site was my starter and its crap...I know!!!

well soon you will get my new URL...Soon I promise let me finish it first...

Madissen

NEW BLOG

I wrote a whole blog and I pressed back space and it deleted it....I am so PISSED!

I am NOT re typing it...

Short form...

I am starting a new blog. I am getting it created as we speak...i'll send you the URL when done.

March 19th, 2008...9 Days

In 9 days it will be Lucas' 8th Angelversary in Heaven...Please pray for our family at this time.

http://www.myspace.com/angellucas_forever6months

Attention Seeker? I need your help...

Jennifer is her name...Well I don't know if that's here real name. She does graphic design like me. That's how we started talking.

So then I added her to MSN so we could talk more..she seems really cool.

I am talking to her as I write this...

Last week she told me she might have breast Cancer so I told her to go get checked out and stuff...Still she has not.

Then yesterday she told me that she might have Leukemia. I told her why she thought so, she said because I reposted a bulletine about signs for Cancer since Nayt has it and I was on his site. She told me she had almost all those symptoms. I was 99.9% sure she does NOT have it. Anyways I told her to go get checked out and she said she had an appointment tomorrow(today) to do it.

Well she signed on not 20min ago and told me that her school almost went into lock down. A guy said he had a gun in his Locker. One why would he tell the teacher's that? And if he did the school WOULD go into lockdown. Anyways she said that the police arrested him and but he got away and now the police are looking for him. Her mom rushed her to her aunts house like 100 miles away she said. She said that she was on the "hit list" that the guy wrote...she was on the top.

I asked about the breast cancer and Leukemia she said she did not go to the doctor's yet, that since what happend to day(if it did happen) they resheduled the appointement.

Let me get this clear...If I thought I might have any type of Cancer...I would not wait til tomorrow..I would go NOW...

I have told other's about this and they said she is an attention seeker.

What do you think?

I need help on this one. I don't know what to do. I really don't want to hear about her claming she has Cancer or was gonna die. I am really getting tired of it.

I wonder what she's gonna say next?

What I want...

I WANT TO START OUT NEW...

I want to drop out of the course i'm in because I can't stand it and move into Early Childhood education...



I want to work so full time for a year so I can get money to do different things...



I want to be a Mommy someday...



I want to start "The Lucas Ryan Foundation."...



I want to help kids with Cancer and their families...


I want to move away...


This is what I want in life right now...

WHY?

I want to change courses because I can't stand doing something I hate. The only reason I went into this course is becuase a Guidance collselor told me to. Did I metion I HATE IT. I wish I could just drop out right NOW...

I want to get out of college one year and just work for money. Then go back. I really don't hink college is for especially the classes i'm in right now. They have NOTHING to do with what I want to be.

I want to be a Mommy so bad. Ever since I was little I always new I would be one. BUt I would like to get things set before having one so someday.

My cousin passed away from Cancer at 6 months of age and I would LOVE to start a foundation in his memory to help other kids/families who have Cancer or are dealing with it.

I want to move right now...Not that I don't like it here I really do espcially the kids :) They are what keep me going here, but I want OUT. I just need to get away and move...To London hopefully.

THIS IS WHAT I WANT IN LIFE RIGHT NOW AND WHY!!!!!!!!!

I sometimes wish I could just drop everything and start new...Ya right like I would ever have the courage to do that...

Been awhile...

Keeping up with 6 myspaces is NEVER easy...lol...

If you ever want to check them out here is all of them(Might have to sign into myspace for some of them)

http://www.myspace.com/hopemiraclesfornaythaniel -OPEN

http://www.myspace.com/prison_break_rulz -PRIVATE

http://www.myspace.com/angellucas_forever6months -PRIVATE

http://www.myspace.com/childhoodcancerawarness - PRIVATE

http://www.myspace.com/findacure08 -PRIVATE(ONLY FOR WARRIORS AND ANGELS)

http://www.myspace.com/froggy_believingmiracles -PRIVATE( THIS IS MY PERSONAL MYSPACE, SOMEONE TOLD ME IT'S ABOUT TIME TO MAKE ONE...lol)

Ok so go ahead and check some out :)

Madissen

Taylor's youtube debute :)

Taylor is on youtube...Tay and his amazing drum playing.

Here is the link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4AuMjJntMU

Please check it out...I hope you like it.

Thank you,
Madissen

It's been awhile...

I finally got to talk to Nayt's Mom and it was sooooo nice. I got to hear the whole Nayt story and boy was that an eye opener. When I called his mom was on her way to class and Nayt was sick so I never got to talk to him but next time I will.

My friend shaved his head and started chemo. He is in stage 2 NOT 3. Yeah our prayers are working. Keep praying please.

School's going fine...

If someone is a good dream interpretator please let me know I REALLY need one right now.

I don't know what else to take about to night...

Please just keep...Naythaniel and family, Kaycee and Family, The Byers Family and My Friend in your prayers tonight and always...

Thank you and Much love,
Madissen

The most amazing video EVER...

Lifehouse's Everything Skit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

God is really leading my path...

So today was an amazing day...

Today I called South Carolina :)

Kaycee is 19 years old and she just relpased with Leukemia. She found out on the 10th of Jan. Well I added her to facebook and myspace awhile ago becuase she wanted me to tell her story about being Cancer Free and survivng it.

Well then I got an email from her saying she relapsed. I felt so bad and I told everyone on myspace and we are all praying.

Well out of the blue she ask me to call her. I was alittle skeptical at first but then I heard "Do it" so I dialed her number...

She is the most amazing person that I have got the previldge to know...

She is doing everything I want to do...She gives toys to sick kids, she reads to sick kids, she did go to school and tell her story and many more.

She has a foundation, she's had it for 2 years...

We talked about almost everything. I know it made her feel alot better getting alot of her shoulders.

She has an awsome accent...lol... she said I do 2 :)

Please pray for Kaycee...I will keep you updated about her...



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I took another 100 pics of Taylor and Arwyn lol...here's the best ones


ARWYN SHOT...





TAYLOR SHOT...






THE BEST PIC I COULD GET WITH THE 2 OF THEM





TAYLOR LOVES THIS PIC :)



Much love and prayers,
Madissen

SORRY :(

I SCARED SOME PEOPLE WITH MY LAST BLOG...SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO.

SO JUST IGNORE IT PLEASE...

UPDATE ON MY FRIEND...
**THIS WAS WRITTEN JAN 12TH 2008**

10 DAYS AGO I FOUND OUT MY FRIEND MIGHT HAVE CANCER. THEY DID A BIOPSIE AND TODAY THEY FOUND OUT THE NEWS...

HE HAS Non-Hodgkin lymphoma...

WE ARE NOT SURE WHAT STAGE YET...IT IS VERY AGRESSIVE.

FOR INFO PLEASE READ HEREhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-Hodgkin's_lymphoma#Stages_of_NHL


***************UPDATE(JAN 16TH/2008)***********

The Cancer is in 3 places...spleen, neck, and another one which I forgot :(

He has to have 8 months of chemo and radiation

The medication he needs is 6000 dollars so they are trying to see what insurance or something they have.

This has a 90% survival rate, BUT he could be the one that doesn't make it.

He is in stage 3 right now, which is high and a bad place to be in.

PLEASE KEEP PRAYING....
Thank you,Madissen

Heaven and Hell...

So it's 1:02am on a wednesday morning...

All I can seem to think about write now is what if I die tomorrow. I started to panic because how would all my online friends on myspace know. I wouldn't want them to think I am ditching them. Then I started to freak because I do not know what death is like. I am scared....

I have no idea why I ahve been thinking about this lately....NO I am not thinking of suicide...NOT EVEN CLOSE. I am very happy right now :)...My classes are going great and my life seems to be awsome.

I have been around death before, Lucas my cousin and when I did co-op at the hospital. I know this may seem weird but I have been always scared and fasanated with death.

I was kinda thinking if I died today what would people say about me? What kind of Legacy would I leave behind? If I were to leave one at all...

I have been to "Hell" before...

It was called Dufferin. Don't get my wrong I had some amazing friends there, but for most of it I was bullied, harrased and I it hurt. Sometimes I would call home sick and my aunt would come pick me up. I was going to leave school in grade 7 or 8 but the teacher convinced me not to because I could get my grades back up...HELLO? I was being bullied, why do you think my marks started slipping? Why I skipped so much school?. I told teacher's...ya a "Talk" was all the bullies got. That really helped thanx...

Then highschool in my hometown which I had to admit was much better. I met knew people I became friends with them. I was liked.

Without them I don't think I would be were I am today...I am so thankful for them everyday.

Then I moved..started new were nobody new me...That's were my "Heaven" started. I was accepted by wide ranges of people in alot of different groups. here were still the populars, jocks and so on...Everybody says you want to be in the middle group so you are not low or high. I was in the middle group...

I met some amazing friends that now know about my past. But they accepted me for who I am. They made me better. I used to look down when I walk. I still do sometimes but know I can hold my head up high :)

If I kept in grade school and did not reach out for help...I don't want to know where I would be.

I know it still hurts...It's not something you can just get over.

I remember everything that was said and done to me...and who did it.

I could give you a list right now...but I guesse that wouldn't be far to the ones who did it to me...

One time they even turned one of my own friends aganist me...

I don't know where this is coming from or why I have said this...

My Heaven and Hell,
Madissen